Throughout my life, I have experience ceremonies of many different faiths, beliefs, and fraternal organizations. From Shiners to Zoroastrians, these rituals show the power of a communal experience of like minded people to reach into our souls and beyond ourselves.
Unless, of course, you belong to the Grand Order of the Triangle. These are the only two members. The person on the left is Harold Picken, otherwise known as The Royal Point. The person on the left, is George Rowell, known, to Harold, as The High Point. He is also the Mighty Balance Point, since there are three positions of authority but only two members of GOOTT.
The tenants of the Grand Order of the Triangle are vague, but they claim that the triangle is sacred, and that the pyramids were built upside down.  They are also petitioning the government to redesign the dollar bill…

Parents are always concerned that their children will grow up and reach their full potential. But how does one discover what direction to push little Johnny or Sally? If you ask the child what they want to be when they grow up, they will invariably answer something unrealistic like “Astronaut” or “Ballerina.” If parents followed their child’s desires, we would have a surfeit of people whizzing through space or dancing on point or both, and no rodeo clowns or hod carriers.  Fortunately, this device takes the guess work out of a child’s path by revealing their true potential. Plus, if the child fusses at being told that, instead of being a famous explorer they will have a fulfilling life as a parts manager for a ball-bearing company, the device delivers a powerful shock until they accept what the device has revealed as their true calling.

The solar plexus is referred to as Manipura by the Hindu tradition. It is the 3rd primary chakra. It is also referred to as the city of jewels. Not those jewels. Yogi stimulate this charka, and through meditation they attain the siddhi, or power to create, destroy, or save the world. Presumable not all three at same time which go against the scared practice of not being a big show off.

The country of San Marino has one of the smallest military forces in the world, that includes the Guard of the Rock and the Crossbow Corps. Less well known was the Tuba Troupes. The oversized horns were difficult to maneuver and inspired laughter instead of fear.

Though the water is irradiated, doesn’t mean a shower can’t be pleasant. At least that was the thinking of the Hyrdo-Protecto company, who saw a way to turn fear of atomic radiation into a profitable venture. Even in a post-nuclear world, they knew cleanliness is next to godliness, or at least a way to barter for canned goods.
While it was a failure in the 50’s, I see this being revived and marketed to people who travel to India, where the microbes in the water are the size of peaches and often talkative.

This photo is mislabeled. Mr. Gersback asked me to participate in an experiment using his Isolator device, and is a photo of myself encased in the Isolator. Instead of making me more focused, the device bounced my thoughts around the inside of the helmet like bb’s in a coffee can. Amusing, but difficult to sort things out from the mess. For a mind not so highly focused and developed to begin with as mine, it might have some utilitarian applications, such as encouraging other people keep their distance from you on a bus.

When Edison invented the telephone, the first reaction was not amazement that voices could travel long distances, but “That’s nice, but when will I be able to take it anywhere?” These prototypes of “Head Phones,” as they were called (also known as  “Walk and Talks,” and”Teleyaps) enjoyed a short lived popularity.  While customers liked the convenience of having their phone with them anywhere, the compressed neck vertebra resulted in most conversations being peppered with lines like “I’d like to talk more, but there’s a shooting pain down my spine and I can’t feel my extremities.” Seeking to make the best of a bad marketing decision and questionable medical research, the slogan “It hurts to talk, but you’re worth it” was tried, and failed.

Many are those who are skeptical of  graphology, or handwriting analysis, but still long for a way to interpret  their body’s manifestation of one’s true character, phrenology is just the thing.  The founder of phrenology, Franz Joseph Gall, believed the the brain was composed of 27 “sub-organs” that governed one’s desires and moods. Introduced in 1796, it was hailed as a great achievement in neuroscience. 10 more sub-organs were added later. Those sub organs that got the most use, such as guile, would grow larger and be able to be felt on the surface of the head. In the hands of a trained phrenologist,  no longer would anyone be able to hide their true character.

But science always progresses, and soon hands were not enough. Thus, the invention of the phrenology machine. Not surprisingly, all those who inserted their head in the device showed bumps that marked an inclination toward gullibility and willingness to part with money at the drop of a hat. Also the need to stand on boxes.

This nifty and attractive invention was known as the SoloVision. Had it been invented recently instead of the early 1960’s it would have been called the iScreen or MyTube. Though the joy of being able to watch “The Beverly Hillbillies” and “The Dick Van Dyke Show” while riding the commuter train or simply in an upstairs closet to hide from the family had appeal, the SoloVision was a flop. While the small screens delivered a CinemaScope experience, being a mere 3/8th of an inch away from the eyeballs, heat from the miniature cathode ray tubes caused 2nd degree burns after 53 minutes, just shy of 2 sitcoms or a full episode of “Bonanza.” Many people, wanting to find out how feisty Little Joe was going to get out of his latest scrape, were rushed to the hospital with painful blisters around their eye sockets afterward.
Also problematic was adjusting the antenna, which, if done in any public place, inevitably poked someone in the face, causing mild lacerations. The sound had to be played at annoying loud volume as the SoloVision did not come equipped with  headphones, which would have rendered the device unusable except for those with necks the size and texture of a honey-baked ham.

The Conjuring Kittens, Fluffles the Mysterious and Cute Ling Soo (who performed as a Siamese but was actually British Longhair), were one of the more obscure vaudeville acts. Due to their size, they could only perform in small 99 seat theaters, saloons, and storefront windows.  Their signature act, The Jumping Doll, (shown here) did not so much create delight as instill nightmares by almost everyone who witnessed it. Their career was cut short when audience members discovered the duo could be easily distracted by a piece of paper on a string. They also suffered the fate of many child performers, when they grew up and were no longer cute.